HEALTH ISSUES, HUMOR & POLITICAL SATIRE IN POETIC FORM

The first two poems in this trilogy of poetry present personal health problems and medications in a humorous light. I hope you will enjoy them. Possibly, even chuckle a little.

For several months I struggled with how to write a humorous poem about my myriad of health conditions. Every time I started to write it became dark and gloomy. One day, Bobbi, the receptionist in the IV unit at our local hospital phoned to confirm my appointment. She asked me if I was “feeling healthy, fever free.” The phrase immediately became the base for my poem. I published it on my former website on January 29, 2008.

I am including it on this posting as part of my two postings on health care issues.

FEELING HEALTHY – FEVER FREE?

(A poem inspired by Bobbi at IV Therapy, YRMC)

I’m feeling healthy, fever free,
Just as happy as I can be.
Although my heart is in a slump,
My new pacemaker makes it pump.

Cholesterol’s another thing,
My arteries it gives a zing.
Quadruple by-pass makes it right,
I live to see another night!

Blood pressure keeps rising higher,
They say it can make me expire.
My meds I take religiously,
But little effect do I see.

When asthma strikes it steals my breath,
Takes me down to the gates of death.
My Xolair shots they start to work,
Oxygen tank I now can shirk.

My diabetes jumps around,
An easy cure cannot be found.
I take my pills and insulin,
Walk the treadmill, cannot get thin.

Swollen legs cause me much pain,
Water retention makes weight gain.
The water pills don’t help me much,
Leg skin feels spongy to the touch.

Surgeries, I’ve had a lot,
Effected sitting on the pot.
Five nose operations went well,
Until I lost my sense of smell.

My cataracts just had to go,
I now can see the white lights glow.
Hearing has really gone to pot,
So hearing aids are what I got.

Knee joints creek - pain I can’t escape,
Doc decides to chisel and scrape.
Toenails grow but I don’t mind,
My doctor will just trim and grind.

Liver, bladder doing real good,
They’re functioning just as they should.
My kidneys are checked frequently,
Make sure they filter properly.

Arthritis strikes a nasty blow,
My joints are aching head to toe.
An old octogenarian,
Explains the shape my body’s in.

The body though it mortal be,
Will rise to immortality.
When body and soul reunite,
Then off to Jesus they’ll take flight.

My heavenly expectation,
Fills my heart with great elation.
There no more pain nor tears will be.
I’LL BE HEALTHY – FEVER FREE!

Don E. Cunningham, Author and Near Octogenarian© 1/2/2008 328

The second poem in this trilogy, came about after I presented, “Feeling Healthy – Fever Free” to our writers’ group. Elaine, our group leader told me I should write a companion for it about my medications. The resulting poem follows:

MEDICINE MAN BLUES

What can I say of medicine?
I have so much – where to begin?
Pills for this, capsules for that,
Pharmaceutical groups get fat!

Asthma attacks – Albuterol,
Is standing by to heed the call.
To keep breathing in clear fresh air,
Take Singulair and puff Advair.

The Xolair shots have stood the test,
My weary lungs they truly blest.
Oxygen flows into Bi-pap,
Helps me to take a restful nap.

Lunesta gives me blissful sleep,
Trazadone helps me peaceful keep.
To make aches and pains from me flee,
Roxicet – intermittently.

Before dentist starts teeth cleanin’
Protect heart with Clindamycin,
When doctor cuts around my eyes,
My Clindamycin still applies.

When my heart begins to sputter,
Lipitor clears up the clutter,
Norvasc keeps my heart safe secure.
While Diovan lowers pressure,

My Doxasozin Mesylate,
Alpha blocker tends the gate.
Opens blood vessels, glory be,
It even helps this old man pee!

Fluid causes ankles to swell,
Furosemide water expels.
Blood pressure needs to be controlled.
Tekturna does the job I’m told.

It hurts to walk, legs tend to cramp,
Plavix helps me walk treadmill ramp.
Diabetes? Lantus plays role,
Helps keep disease under control.

Prandin also has part to play,
Make sure, take six of them each day.
Folic acid, B12 and six,
Help my overall health to fix.

Allergies make me wheeze and sneeze,
Spray Nasonex - my symptoms ease.
Zyrtec taken regularly,
Tend to keep eyes and nose itch free.

If eyes still itch and start to tear,
Patanol will help them to clear.
And if coughing should me beset,
My Benzonatate I quickly get.

If skin itch should become extreme,
There is Fluocinonide cream.
But if it be a rectal itch,
To Proctozone rapidly switch.

Hiatal hernia take care.
My trusty Prevacid is there.
With all my meds it’s clear to see,
I the Medicine Man must be!

Don E. Cunningham, Author – Poet © 3-22-2008 324

The final poem in my trilogy is a satire on our political leaders. You will note it satirizes politicians in general and is non-partisan. One portion of it relates to the way in which they passed the Medicare Part D bill, which I personally feel benefits pharmaceutical and health insurance companies more than senior and disabled citizens. For more on this read my posting on “Health Care Issues”.

Many of my poems reflect scriptural insights.

THE OMNIPOTENT ONES

They think they are omnipotent,
Their impotence I see.
They strut about in tailored suits,
As proud as they can be.

They speak in tomes quite eloquent,
Actions their words belie.
They sit on power committees,
With cronies tell their lies.

They do their investigations,
Purporting to be true.
They come up with all their findings,
Then nothing do they do.

Concocting up outlandish laws.
Pass them in darkest night.

Wait until the populace sleeps,
Conceal from them their plight.

Accept money from the rich boys,
Do what they desire.
Take away from the working man,
They soon shall know hell fire!

Their acts defy our mighty Lord,
When poor men’s homes they take.
Their lives are centered in their greed,
Someday their souls shall quake.

Our righteous God looks down on us,
His mighty arm is bared,
Oh, you who rob the innocents,
Your souls shall not be spared.

Based on Psalm 73 – Don E. Cunningham, Author/poet ©6-24-08 166

Well, friends, that’s it on health care issues for now. I hope you will continue to visit my blog to enjoy a potpourri of my writings.

Hugs, In Christ’s and My Love,

Don E. Cunningham, Author/Octogenarian Poet ©6/29/08 1095