HUGS FOR LONELY HEARTS

As the spiritual advisor of our Widowed Persons Services group I arranged for a tour of a large local residential care facility. After introductions and a short orientation, Susan, the administrator, started us on our tour of the facility.

She guided us through the large parlor and dining area. Then we walked down the wide corridor to the residents' living area. Susan knocked on a resident's door and asked if our group could see her apartment. From years of experience working with residents in care facilities one of the first things I look for is respect for a resident's right to privacy. Susan, by asking before entering, was respecting that right.

A feeble, faint voice responded, "It's unlocked, come in."

Susan opened the door cautiously and greeted the frail, little, white haired lady seated in a chair near her window. Then she welcomed our group in. After Susan introduced our group to her, the sad lady hung her head and turned toward the window. She gazed at the nearby garden and appeared almost oblivious to our presence.

While our guide was explaining the features of the apartment to the rest of our group, I quietly walked over and knelt down in front of this little shriveled up lady.

I said to her softly, "Hi, I'm Don, what is your name again?"

She turned her head away from the window, glanced toward me and replied, "I'm Mary. What do you want?"

"I just want to talk with you and ask you a favor," I said as I looked into her sorrowful blue eyes.

"I used to help my family and friends, but I'm too old to help out anymore. I don't have any friends left and my family doesn't visit me very often. I don't have any energy to even take care of myself, let alone do any favors for others," she replied as she glanced downward.

"Well, I just wanted to ask you if I could have a hug." I responded.

She looked up, her blue eyes sparkled slightly and a wrinkled smile crossed her
face, "Oh, that would be nice, I haven't had a hug in a long time."

Her thin drooping arms opened and stretched out toward me. I placed my arms around her and gave her an ever so gentle hug. I felt her feeble arms respond. In a few brief seconds two hearts had hugged.

Her beautiful blue eyes were now aglow and a wrinkled smile stretched across her pale shriveled face.

"Thank you Mary, I needed that."

"Me too, what was your name again?"

"Don."

Susan interrupted, "It's time to move along on our tour."

I walked to the door and turned around. Mary and I waved goodbye and smiled at each other. Our day was complete.

During my years of pastoral care I shared hugs with hundreds of shut-ins in their homes, hospitals, nursing homes and care facilities. It was a very rare occasion that anyone declined to share a hug.

How often my shoulder felt the warm tears of isolated elderly and disabled folks. To see tears turn to smiles is always a great joy to me.

Don E. Cunningham, Author ©8-20-2007 529