LAYING A FIRM FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE

Laying a firm foundation during courtship, honeymoon and early stages of marriage are essential for a lasting relationship. Couples must share their dreams and work together to reach them.

Last week I referred to Sharon and I knowing one another well from taking the time for chats and observations. During our courtship we were laying a foundation that would lead to a rich fulfilling relationship for both of us. We have shared over twenty six wonderful years in a loving relationship.

We planned our wedding together right down to making our own sandwiches and decorations. All of the members of our singles' group played significant roles in our wedding plans. I detail much of it in my book (Pgs 132 & 133).

Do it Yourself Wedding Plans

With Sharon being an artist, we decided to decorate the
church and reception hall ourselves, design our wedding invitations
and thank-you notes, and prepare all of the refreshments,
except for the wedding cake.

Maggie, my secretary, did the calligraphy
for our invitations and thank-you notes. We had them
printed by a local printer. I addressed the envelopes, inserted
the invitations, and mailed them out.

Sharon busied herself with redesigning a plain dress into
a wedding gown. She also made a hand-made, flower-crested,
white net veil. I wouldn't see these until our wedding day.

She also made several soft sculptures, little red cupid cherubs. They
would be placed on valentine hearts and crepe flowers as table
decorations. Some hung from the ceiling where red and white
crepe streamers crossed. In the center of the room hung a large,
fold-out crepe heart. Then she created flowered crepe bows
with streamers to hang on the pew ends.

Sharon had several pink and green loaves of bread baked
at a local bakery. We trimmed away the crusts and cut them
into heart shapes with a cookie cutter. Then began the fun of
spreading various spreads and cold cuts on them. Only a couple
of days remained before the wedding bells would chime.

In preparing for our wedding we were learning to work together in harmony, laying a foundation for our future together. Throughout our marriage that harmony of spirit has blessed and strengthened our relationship. (pg 151)

One afternoon, about ten months after our marriage, Sharon
came home from the market. I could tell by the downcast
look on her face that something had upset her. I asked her what
was wrong, and she burst into tears.

I held her for a few moments. The tears stopped, and she said she had seen our pastor. He asked her if we had had our first argument yet.

When she said, "No," he told her that if we hadn’t argued yet our marriage
wasn't normal. It crushed her.

I told her that it is the norm for most couples to argue, so it
was obvious that our marriage was not normal. It was above the
norm, making it more beautiful. A broad smile crossed her face.
Twentt-five years later, it is still above the norm!

The two poems Sharon and I wrote to one another as we approached our wedding day give a picture of love for one another and the expectations we had as we entered into marriage. Our poetry over the years indicate the firm foundation that was laid. (Pgs 138-140)

SHARING AND CARING

What will it be like after that wonderful day,
When we walk down the aisle and start on our way?
What kind of joy and peace will be deep in our hearts,
When we've united as one our two separate parts?

The old scars of the past must be well understood,
So that they can heal and really work for our good.
If they hurt us when the storms of life we must face,
Pain will remind each of us to exercise grace.

To support one another as we have growing pains,
Through our experiences we'll show marriage gains.
To actively listen when our hearts we must bare,
And give reassurance that we really care.

When tensions arise as they assuredly will,
To look at the causes with our love and our skill;
God's Word will set the standards and will be our guide,
With our love and affection, be gently applied.

We promise each other and our Great God of love,
We will pray and seek guidance through the Holy Dove;
To walk with each other hand and hand throughout life,
We'll be sharing and caring as husband and wife.

Caring while waiting to be sharing,
Love,
Don

OPEN HEART

Don -
So much love you give me, so wide open and free,
Oh, so open your heart is when you look at me.
There are times I've looked away so you wouldn't know
Just how deeply I cared, how you've made my love grow.

Or how much I longed to give it all, without stop,
For my love overflows - it is filled to the top.
So much energy it takes to stay in control -

To release love slowly when I want to give the whole.

I guess I've been cautious and so afraid of pain,
Afraid of our hurting if our love should wane.
In not wanting to make another mistake,
I've sought restraints for my heart, for both our sake.

But then when I've seen you so fearlessly giving
And, loving me, making me glad to be living -

How can I do anything but give all I am?
Follow your lead; offer the whole - every last dram.

If there's hurt then so be it, God knows my fate,
Here my love comes a-flooding - you've opened the gate!

Sharon

Don & Sharon On Honeymoon February 16, 1981

I hope you will join me next week when we Plan for the Future. I will be addressing making long range family plans.

HUGS, IN CHRIST'S AND MY LOVE,
Don E. Cunningham, Author © June 27, 2007 973