A VIDEO CLIP - "ROGER'S GIFT"`

Last Saturday a memorial service was held for a dear friend of mine who died of prostate cancer. Due to poor health and the distance involved I was unable to attend the service. A friend, however, sent me a video clip that Roger made with the help of a friend, shortly before he died. He made it as a gift to his dear family and friends.

It touch me deeply and I requested and was given permission from his friend, Diane Varner, to post it to my blog. I hope it will be a blessing to you. Here is the web address to it.

http://www.dianevarner.com/Rogers_Gift/

The morning I received word or Roger's death I had just begun writing a poem about a winter scene with a cardinal sitting on a branch with snow all around. With a sorrowful heart the direction of the poem took a whole new direction as I remembered and prayed for Roger and his family. I dedicated it to Roger, but it encompasses him and his lovely family. I hope it will touch your heart in a very special way. As you read it please picture not only a "Majestic Cardinal" but also a dear loyal friend and his loving family.

Majestic Cardinal

Majestic Cardinal sits on high,

Regal silhouette against sky.

His kingdom he views from his throne.

Snow covers every leaf and stone.

His treasures buried 'neath the sod,

So for his food he turns to God.

From his throne he sees lady fair,

Her hands spread bread crumbs everywhere.

From a man's ever loving wife,

Comes forth the creature's bread of life.

Her love flows forth, gift does impart,

Our loving Lord has touched her heart.

In the winter of our life we find

Our loving God is ever kind.

His snow of love makes us all whole,

Eternal life restores our soul.

My friends and family care for me,

Within their eyes His love I see.

They feed and serve me with their love,

Prepare my soul for things above.

In white snow, holiness I see,

The bread of life He's given me.

And as I breathe a final sigh.

I know with Him I'll reign on high!

The cardinal and I will sing,

Eternal praises to our king.

And with our friends on distant shore,

Commune in joy forevermore.

This poem is dedicated to the memory of my friend, Roger Morse, who showed brotherly love toward me in the time of my deepest need.

Don E. Cunningham

©10-27-2007

I hope you will take the time today to give a friend a hug and let them know you love them.

Hugs, In Christ's and My Love,

Don E. Cunningham 11/28/07

DOES GOD FORGIVE THE SIN OF DIVORCE?

I was recently asked, "Don, does the Lord forgive the sin of Divorce?"

My response was different than what the person expected. As I state in my book, I do not view divorce as a single sin. To me, for true forgiveness and healing, one must look at the composite of sins that lead us into a divorce situation. If we look at the divorce itself as being the sole sin we miss the opportunity for full forgiveness and healing. It is in the recognition and confession of the negative personality traits we nurture and of the sins we commit that we find true forgiveness and healing.

In my book, "Divorce and Remarriage Made Beautiful In His Time" I explain my perspective as follows:

"Over a period of months I read and heard what various authors and pastors said about their views on divorce. Some treated it as though the divorced person had committed the unpardonable sin. My more gracious pastor taught that it was part of God's kingdom age dispensation. Christians, being imperfect, could not be expected to live up to the standard.

While this sounded encouraging, it didn't square with what my Lord was revealing to my heart, nor did it ease my feelings of guilt. I had not read in the Scripture where God said He would forgive a Christian for living in a different dispensation. He did say He would forgive and cleanse confessed sins.

In I John 1:8-10 we read:

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive

ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess

our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us

our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a

liar, and His word is not in us."

How that squared with what I was experiencing in my heart. The more I thought on these verses and my broken platter the clearer the cause of my guilt and shame became.

Within my heart I learned DIVORCE WAS NOT JUST A SINGLE SIN, BUT A COMPOSITE OF SINS which contributed to my divorce. The broken pieces of my shattered platter were not clean as though the platter had just been removed from a dishwasher. No, they were from a dirty, germ-ridden dish that had helped cause the death of a floundering relationship.

How was I to find the broken pieces, loaded with sin, and take them to my Lord? My counseling with Dr. Samuel McDill, a Christian marriage and family counselor, was going well.

In addition to his most helpful counseling, I decided to contact the widow of the Christian psychologist from whom I received counseling when attempting to save my marriage. Fortunately, she was understanding and willingly sent me not only my tests results but also his notes. What a God-send!

The next few months I prayed and poured over all the material she sent me and discussed it with Dr. Sam. Through these insights I picked up my broken pieces and began to put my platter back together. Oh, the imperfections, no, dark sins I needed to deal with. How my soul agonized over those broken pieces - selfishness, blocking, denial, internal anger, and insecurity. While there had been no marital infidelity, how far I fell short of the admonitions in I Corinthians 13. What a large dirty platter it had been.

I scrutinized each of these sin areas in my life and forced myself to see them for what they were. I looked at how adversely they affected my marriage and confessed them to my Lord and Savior. Cleansing and a new sense of peace entered my life." (Pages 66-67)

I imagine after reading this you are probably wondering about my reference to "the broken pieces of my shattered platter." Christ said that the law of Moses permitted divorce because of the "hardness of the heart." In my experience it took the form of a platter!

Let me share part of that experience with you.

"Absent-mindedly I pushed a Doug Oldham tape into my cassette player: It was a song that spoke of failure in life, not accomplishing plans, being shattered and taking the broken parts of our lives to the Lord, knowing that He understands.

While I had listened to the tape several times before, I did not remember hearing Doug singing that chorus before. I pushed the rewind button and played it over and over again.

A river of emotions flooded my soul and gushed forth in teardrops. What release came as I found myself singing along with Doug. The words of Jesus to the Pharisees, explaining why the law of Moses permitted divorce flashed, through my mind, "...because of the hardness of your hearts."

As I listened to the song over and over again I remembered that the Lord is our potter and we are His clay. As long as the clay remains pliable it can be molded. Once it has been hardened, by the fire of sin in our lives, it must be broken. There on the mountain I saw the platter of my hardened heart drop to the floor of God's love and break into a multitude of assorted pieces.

How I had been struggling with the guilt of divorce. Christians just don't get divorced. Yet, why was it, that even in the moments of deepest despair I had sensed God's love toward me? Here in my valley of despair I had experienced God's mountain-top of love and understanding.

He was beginning to show me the path He would have me walk through my valley of divorce. It would be a path of picking up the shattered pieces, taking them to Him for cleansing and using the glue of His healing love to put them back together. I began to feel an immense weight being lifted from me. For the first time in months when I arrived home I fell asleep and slept straight through the night." (Pages 65-66)

Do I believe that God, through Christ, forgives the sin of divorce? Most assuredly I do. In my experience He does far more than that, He forgives all confessed sins leading up to divorce. With repentance and confession of our sins He brings healing and growth. Is He not the God who has loved us with an everlasting love?

Wherever you are in your journey through divorce our Lord is working to draw you to Himself with His arms of loving kindness. Right now would be a good time to give yourself a big hug and think of his tender, comforting arms about you.

In an upcoming blog I will be posting a poem which I wrote shortly after my "broken platter" experience. In the appendix of my book there are scripture texts between each verse that capture the spirit of the poem. Until next time,

HUGS, IN CHRIST'S AND MY LOVE,

Don E. Cunningham, Author ©11-27-07 1170

GUARDIANS OF THE FRIGHTENED FAIR DAMSEL

My last three blogs have been pretty heavy weight so this time I thought I would share with you a lighter essay I wrote. I hope it will spread a little humor into your day. Perhaps, you have experienced something similar to this.

At our writers' group one of my fellow authors related a telephone conversation with her friend who recently went camping with her husband and their dog. She spoke about how both the husband and dog slept through two separate nights when a bear and then wild ponies wandered through their campsite. She then asked us to write about our impression of the event. As a result I wrote the following:

Hi, my name is Ginger. As you can tell I am of the female gender. For some reason, unknown to me, my mistress, thinks of me as her guardian. She oft' times thinks of herself as a frightened fair damsel in distress. I think of myself as a pacifist who would rather bark than bite. I do not buy into her image of me. This sometimes leads to her questioning my loyalty.

Let me illustrate: A short time ago we went on a camping trip, which I anticipated with great delight. During the day I ran about the campground enjoying the scenery, the scent of wild animals, the beautiful trees and meadow. It was fun to chase sticks thrown by my master. I had a very enjoyable, but tiring day. After dinner, I barked a while at the full moon. I then retired for a good night's rest. Having no fear of my fellow creatures I slept peacefully.

Toward the middle of the night I sensed that my mistress was feeling frightened. I lifted one ear and heard a noise outside. My keen sense of smell told me it was a bear. I also smelled some leftover food my mistress left out. Surely, the bear only wanted to eat it. He was not interested in confronting us. Realizing this I remained silent. Remember now, I am a barker not a biter! Using all of my energy I laid there pretending to be asleep. Had I done what came naturally, I would have begun barking loudly thus agitating the bear and putting frightened fair damsel into a confrontation with the bear.

And what did I get for protecting my mistress through my cloak of silence? She slanders me and says, "Ginger, slept through the night while I trembled in fear!"

The following night she still didn't understand my silence when I lay quietly with my eyes closed, while a herd of wild ponies wandered through our campsite. I could have jumped up and barked at them, possibly causing them to stampede through our tent.

She also fails to recognize how brave her husband, the real guardian of her life, truly is. Even in sleep he protects her. Perhaps she has a different perception of what male heroism is.

What I saw those two nights was a master, who even in repose, protected us from the wild beasts. Did my mistress not recognize his roaring snore? 'Twas like the sound of a dozen bull moose in heat. What else could have kept the bear and wild ponies from our tent?

Ah, brave master thank you for being our great guardian. How my heart yearns to please you! I may never know why you throw sticks for me to fetch, but out of loyalty to you I will always unquestioningly bring them back to you.

We ladies may never understand the minds of men, but I know, my master, even in sleep will guard me.

Perhaps someday we frightened fair damsels will learn to keep our mouths shut and wait patiently, while our male guardians protect us from the beasts that surround us.

Hugs, In Christ's and My Love,

Don E. Cunningham, Author 11-15-07© 532

SCRIPTURE AND ADULTERY 201

In both the old and new testaments we see God's harsh condemnation of the unrepentant adulterer. One who has hardened his heart and lingers in infidelity faces receiving a certificate of divorce from our Lord.

Jeremiah 3:7-8 (KJV) "And I said, after she had done all these things, 'Return to Me.' But she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also."

In our day the adulterer, like Israel, is unlikely to return to their God or their spouse. Rather they pursue the lust of their hearts. Loved ones, before whom they declared their vows, are cast aside like a piece of clothing that is "battered" and torn by its owner. We will speak a little later about those few who see the error of their ways and wish to return to fellowship with our Lord and their wives.

Jeremiah 5:7. "How shall I pardon you for this? Your children have forsaken Me and sworn by those that are not gods. When I had fed them to the full, then they committed adultery."(KJV)

The Expositors Bible places this verse and those that follow it into the following perspective:

"Let us see what it was that called so loudly for amendment, and then we may become more fully aware of the gulf that divided the God of Israel from the idols of Canaan, and His service from all other service. It is important to keep this radical difference steadily before our minds, and to deepen the impression of it, in days when the effort is made by every means to confuse Iahvah with the gods of heathendom, and to rank the religion of Israel with the lower surrounding systems."

Jeremiah7:9-11 (KJV) "Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to Baal, and walk after other gods whom you do not know, and then come and stand before Me in this house which is called by My name, and say, 'We are delivered to do all these abominations?' Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of thieves in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it," says the Lord.

In this scripture we can clearly see the company with whom the adulterer is classed. It is an unseemly crowd of sinners. Notice the two faced character of the individual. He tries to eat his cake and have it too. He continues in sin while putting on a pious front in the house of our Lord along with deceiving his own family.

The Expositors Bible explains: "Jeremiah accuses his countrymen of flagrant transgression of the universal laws of morality. Theft, murder, adultery, perjury, fraud, and covetousness, slander and lying and treachery (Jeremiah 7:9, 9:3-8), are charged upon these zealous worshippers by a man who lived amongst them, and knew them well, and could be contradicted at once if his charges were false. He tells them plainly that, in virtue of their frequenting it, the temple is become a den of robbers."

"And this trampling upon the common rights of man has its counterpart and its climax in treason against God, in "burning incense to the Baal, and walking after other gods whom they know not" (Jeremiah 7:9); in an open and shameless attempt to combine the worship of the God who had from the outset revealed Himself to their prophets as a "jealous," i.e. an exclusive God, with the worship of shadows who had not revealed themselves at all, and could not be "known," because devoid of all character and real existence. They thus ignored the ancient covenant which had constituted them a nation (Jeremiah 7:23)"

In the light of the depravity involved in an adulterous relationship is there any hope of reconciliation?

In Jeremiah 3:20 through 4:2 we get a glimpse of how restoration to our Lord and perhaps to the victimized spouse, may come about. Jeremiah 3:25 - "Let us lie down in our shame, and let our disgrace cover us. We have sinned against the Lord our God, ... we have not obeyed the Lord our God." (NIV)

Note that here we find a recognition and confession of sin. This is a prerequisite for restoring of fellowship with God and family.

Then notice the conditions our Lord placed upon Israel: " ... declares the Lord, 'If you put your detestable idols out of my sight and no longer go astray, and if in a truthful, just and righteous way you swear, as surely as the Lord lives, then the nations will be blessed by him and in him they will glory'." (NIV)

"She is, therefore, invited to repent and return to her alienated God, which will involve a return from exile to her own land; and the promise is given of the reunion of the two peoples in a restored Theocracy, having its centre in Mount Zion (11-19). All Israel has rebelled against God; but the prophet hears the cry of universal penitence and supplication ascending to heaven; and Iahvah's gracious answer of acceptance (Jeremiah 3:20-22). (Expositor's Bible)

In John 8:11b Jesus told the woman caught in adultery a simplified version of what the prophet Jeremiah declared: "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared, "Go now and leave your life of sin." (NIV)

We hear much today about tough love, here we see something of God's application of it.

One of my favorite verses of scripture is found in Jeremiah 31:3: "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying, 'I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness'." (NIV)

This verse is found in a text dealing with the restoration of God's people following their repentance. Notice that it is what God had told them in the past, they had pulled themselves away from the fellowship of His embrace, but with their repentance he was drawing them back.

We see Jesus opening God's everlasting love up to the whole world when we read John 12:32-333: "But I, when I am lifted up from the earth will draw all men to myself." "He said this to show the kind of death He would die." (NIV)

I have been a hugger for many years, and whenever I read these verses, I get a picture of God hugging me. A few months ago I went to the store with a friend. As we got out of the car I saw a Vietnam veteran in an old army jacket. He had a small sign "disabled vet -hungry." I walked over to him, gave him a hug and some money. As I turned to leave he saluted me. When we were walking into the store, the friend turned to me and asked, "Why did you hug him, don't you know you could get lice?"

As I thought about it, it struck me that when God embraces me he does not worry about my "lice" even though He is hugging a far worse bundle of humanity. God's love is not only for the beautiful it extends to even a "wretch like me."

If a spouse has been the victim of the infidelity of their mate they are under no obligation to continue the relationship with them.

The question then arises, is there enough love in his/her heart to accept the partner back into a relationship? In previous scripture we have looked at some of the things that had to occur in the hearts of the adulterous Israelites to restore their fellowship with our Lord. Let's take a look at them in the context of a husband-wife relationship:

1. Repentance which means "To feel so contrite over one's sins as to change, or decide to change, one's ways. Has the unfaithful spouse turned away from the other person involved in his infidelity? Have all connections been severed? Has the "detestable idol" been set aside?

2. Has the individual fully committed to a renewed relationship? What assurances are there that he/she will not stray again?

3. There is also a call to truthfulness. Can the errant partner ever be trusted again? Is there clear communication of expectations by both spouses?

4. Has the unfaithful spouse come to a point where he/she "glories in the other spouse?" Does each spouse love the other as "Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it?"

5. Is the relationship moving toward a just and righteous one? Do the spouses treat one another fairly and with respect? What role does our Lord play in the relationship?

Clearly, reconciliation attempts following infidelity of a partner are most difficult and I believe that spouses attempting to reconcile need to seek professional counseling. For a Christian it would be wise to involve a Christian counselor.

We often hear Ephesians 2:8-9 quoted in relationship to God's grace saving us. I would like to conclude today with the verse that immediately follows them: Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."(NIV)

The marriage reunion following infidelity takes work. May we take into it the realization that we are created in Christ to do good works. How important it is to apply these works to our marriages. It is well worth the effort. By our fruits we shall be known. Hugs, In Christ's and My Love,

Don E. Cunningham, Author ©11/6/07 1598